Posted by: Emily | January 29, 2009


Please enjoy this passive aggressive post…

I never thought I would be here.  I never thought my day would center around dishes, grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning.  However, I always knew I wouldn’t be very good at it.  And I was right.  

I understand that it is nice to do things for your loved one and I do love cooking for Frenchie.  I do not enjoy cleaning up after him.  I do not enjoy when he asks me to do things differently.  I know that he is saying less than he wants to, and I appreciate that, but even the little things set me off these days.  I never claimed to be meticulous!  I definitely never claimed to be attached to stuff, and I am really not.  Which sometimes means I don’t take of things as well as I should.  My husband is the opposite.  He takes care of everything very very well.  I guess this makes us a good match, but it also causes some fights.  He doesn’t understand how I could not even think to inspect the couch with a magnifying glass as soon as the delivery boys dropped it off.  How did I not notice the scratch on the arm?  Was it the cat?  Or was it already there?  Now, because of my carelessness, we will never know.  

I was meant to have a job.  Get up early, go to work, hang out with friends, and do housework on the weekends.  Like a normal person.  I was meant to live in a gently used house, not a perfect house.  

I am hoping my mindset changes when I have kids.  That I will want to do things for the house for them.  I just can’t get myself to do what my husband wants me to do.  I guess it’s my inner Ani-loving, man-hating feminist, but I get the shivers when he asks me if I bought cat food at the store today.  NO, I didn’t, and yes, I had time, but I didn’t feel like going on a citywide search of the one cat food that Loki will eat.  OK?  Maybe tomorrow I will.




  1. *hug* i know exactly how you feel.

  2. I LOVE the passive aggressive post! From the perspective of the obsessive compulsive side, it’s good for us to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t sweat the small stuff because it forces us to either do it ourselves or relax already. Fear not, Frenchie is probably (still) just used to having his stuff exactly how he wants it.

    On an amusing note, the bf has found the one thing that I’m not obsessive about and chosen to be obsessive about it himself: when there are two light switches for one light, he always wants a certain one in the ‘down’ position when the light is off and it drives him nuts when I just randomly flick whatever light switch I pass by.

  3. That’s hilarious about the light switches. Ugg, maybe when we get a bigger house we’ll just each have our own sections so we don’t have to deal with it.

  4. I’m actually thinking that when you have kids, Frenchie is going to have to learn to be more easy going! Kids are not meticulous!

    The way I always see it is that my most precious things are worthless to me if I don’t use them. If they get scraped up in the process, so be it! Where’s the fun in perfection?

    That’s not to say I don’t have things I’m terribly neurotic about… It just tends not to be “stuff.” 🙂

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